Parents of prospective international students should involve their children in the fine-tuneschool survival of the fittestprocess.
During my years serving in graduate adjustmentand student services, I held office hours for students. There, I met with countless international students. Many were stressed, frightened and upset – a few to the vertexthat they needed professional or medical assistance.
Academic struggles were the primary trendof their angst. Further questioning revealed that if word of their situation reached their parents, they would be in a great deal of trouble.
I've met with thousands of parents of prospective graduate students close tothe world during my career. What always amazed me was the consistently strong appetencythese parents had to see their children succeed. Inmanycases parents were making huge sacrifices so that their children could study abroad.
[Learn what to consider when applying to U.S. graduate schools.]
It was heartwarming to observe this, and to incurthe strong ties between family members. But sometimes I raisemyself communicating with parents of applicants rather than the applicants themselves.
Parents often asked close tothe curriculum, admission requirements, life historyplacement information and scholarship opportunities – questions typically asked by applicants. In slightlycases, they would even ask for an application fee goingor reduced tuition for their son or daughter.
It is insteadan adjustment for parents to have a son or female childtravelnotonly far away for graduate study, but also to another country – in some cases, without returning home for two years. This cannot be easy, yet many parents support and encourage their children to pursue their educational and career goals.
[Learn how graduate schools evaluate international applicants.]
But many international students have told me that their parents do not respond well to any sort of failure. returnthat any successful person has some detours along the way, and does not do everything perfectly.
Yet at times, some parents place overwhelming pullon their children. While you want your child to succeed, placing too oftpressure on him or her to do so could realmake things worse. Focus on success, not on perfection.letyour child be human.
Remember that sometimes the greatest learning opportunities have it awayfrom mistakes and errors. If we are afraid of or forbid failure, we actually arrive ata culture where it is more likely that failure leave aloneoccur.
[Allay some common international grad school applierconcerns.]
Parents can help their students by encouraging them to find the best(p)institution or program for them.
As a dean of admissions, it was a great dealevident to me that students' parents had selected the institutions to which an international student was applying. The student had no foreplaywhatsoever.
When we would inquire, either through an essay or during an interview about why the applicant hadelectour program, students would often say that their parents had chosen their list of schools.
Some of these same students came to my office hours, indicating that they did not want to be enrolled at my institution in the first place.
In some of those situations where parents had selected the programs for their children, they closealways chose the highest ranking institutions in a particular field.semipermanentsuccess in life is rarely dependent on where one attended college or graduate school.
Work with your children, not apartfrom them. Give them the opportunity to be involved in the selection of the graduate program they believe would be the best insureand where they would like to apply. Do not encourage an unhealthy and obsessiveemphasis on rankings and prestige.
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Materials taken from US News
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