Let's all take a moment to congratulate ourselves for tearing our eyeballs away from porn to tune into the twisted ongoings of Westeros's warring families—and Ed Sheeran, for some ungodly reason—for the Season 7 premiere of Game of Thrones. Enough eyeballs were diverted that Pornhub viewership dropped by 4.5 percent. And Sunday is normally a big night for Pornhub! Such loyalty. Pats on the back all around.
In fact, Game of Thrones caused more people to temporarily abandon porn this year than last, when the Season 6 premiere caused viewership to drop by a meager 4.1 percent. The "Battle of the Bastards" episode only lowered Pornhub's numbers by 3.9 percent, which is shame, as that episode was like, really good. The Season 6 finale, however, made Pornhub's numbers drop by 5.2 percent.
Unfortunately for all those who deprived themselves of porn for an hour on Sunday night, the Season 7 premiere was exceedingly tame by Game of Thrones standards. Arya was carded in the presence of alcohol, kind of, and the most sexual action we saw was Tormund Giantsbane waggling his eyebrows at Brienne of Tarth. Which, to be fair, was titillating.
Originally published on Esquire
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